When was the last time you said no to something you honestly didn’t want to be a part of? Are you someone who is in the habit of constantly saying yes to things, even when you know they won’t serve you well? Honestly, same! Setting boundaries for myself is something I’ve really struggled with, because I’ve always been a people-pleaser. However, I’ve learned that there’s so much value in your ability to protect your energy by setting boundaries, which is what I wanted to discuss in this week’s blog post.
I’ve always had the mentality that a “nice girl” always says yes. A “nice girl” always puts everyone else first. One day, I started to wonder if it was even possible to put myself and my well-being first, and still be considered a “nice girl?“ I’m here to tell you, the answer is absolutely yes! It is entirely possible to be a kind, compassionate, caring person and still put yourself first! As they saying goes, “You can’t pour from an empty cup.”
This is by no means easy, especially when women in particular have this mindset engrained into them that they have to be the people-pleasers of the world. So, I wanted to share a few things that I’ve found helpful in reversing this, and finding the perfect balance between your responsibilities, and taking care of you.
1). The word “no” is a complete sentence
When someone asks you to do something outside of your regular schedule, regardless of what it is, you have every right to say no without an explanation, or an apology. All too often, I find that sometimes we feel guilty for saying no, which is why the apology usually follows it.
2). Turn off your phone
The best way to really focus on you is by turning off all of the outside distractions. If people can’t get ahold of you, you don’t even have to cross into the area of having to turn down an invitation. I'm not suggesting to keep your phone turned off for hours on end, just long enough to know that your time won't be interrupted.
3). Set a schedule for “me-time” and stick to it!
This is probably the most important tip I’ve used. I find that if I schedule time for me, I’m scheduling the time I need to refuel and recharge.
I hope you’ve found these helpful, and I hope you are able to start implementing them in your daily life! It’s so important to set boundaries for yourself. Once you do, you’ll find the people who love you enough to respect those boundaries. Perhaps even more important than that, you’ll be setting the example of how you expect to be treated, and you won’t except anything less.